Brainscapes

Experiencing trauma heightens the brain and body’s need for comfort.

Through my paintings I create abstracted landscapes in an attempt to trick myself into feeling present and at peace. Large, fluid swaths of color meant to mimic calmness sprawl across pieces of raw canvas, and are deconstructed to reveal fringe. Creating the fringe is a full body process to develop lightness and clarity, and the remnants of color are ghosts from the act of unraveling. These pieces are often unstretched to mirror blankets and further emphasize the need for comfort.

Pouring colors on the surface is a quick and violent process which fights off unsettling memories. For me, blue represents the sky and brain. It is limitless and comforting, while warm colors represent the land in an effort to feel more grounded and safe. In smaller works on paper, I paint multiple landscapes with repeating motifs at once to untangle my brain and create new, imagined spaces.

Creating these paintings is an act of self-love, therapy, and prayer. The process of painting allows me to find rest in the present. Sharing the work puts my brain on display, adds to the visual language of mental illness, and opens up the greater conversation about the effects of trauma in the brain’s landscape.